then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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