you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize