btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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