we're blogging at a bar
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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