Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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