"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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