oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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