I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
