The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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