So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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