i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
