My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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