Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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