Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
