oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
