he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
