so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
me + whiskey = a bad person
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
