is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
