I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
