Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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