his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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