I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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