we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
