Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
