If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
