Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
