It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
