If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
