I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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