Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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