Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
