what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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