All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
