Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
