We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
