That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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