Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize