Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
