did you get engaged???
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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