i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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