3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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