Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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