Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
