yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And then my night got REAL pukey
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
