I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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