fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
