I showed him my bush... on skype.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
