if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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