So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
