i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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