Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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