you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize