I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
