Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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