I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize