Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
