Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
