69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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